be the change you want to see.
must admit that this holidays were very fruitful despite the initial and persistent sarcasm and cynicism that reigned in me, i really feel like alot has been done and alot of potential and hopes have surfaced so much so that it makes me think of what can be done now that its come to realization. 

it reminds me of why i created this journal in the first place and the reason behind my username. i recall ending work at robinsons and taking 100 home. long bus ride and i was racking my brains for my lj username. and i thought of a book i had read earlier that i enjoyed, the solace of leaving early, which had 2 very fiesty girls who renamed themselves immaculata and epiphany. (: so i took that idea and helloepiphany was born! haha. the acknowledgement that i do realise things and the commitment to write them here. thats what it initially meant to me. 

so the 3 camps/conferences that i went to, all surprisingly had a running theme. about the need for us to remember that God is real and that He is real enough for us to relate to and be accountable to, so as to not go astray, lead complacent lives but know who we are in Christ and know what to do as real Christians in a real world. it is my prayer for this year that i really keep close to God, guarding my time and walk with Him jealously. 

am glad to have met new people, become closer to both old and new people. am glad to have met up with hui hui, huimin, my cg and my dg and other yfers. think another aspect i want to work on is to be accountable to spur others on to love and good works. and even continue reaching out to my friends who do not know Him.

recently i've been reading joshua harris' "Stop dating the church: fall in love with the family of God". i didnt think i needed it, but then there was this portion that really struck me, that said that our assurance of salvation must include a changed life, and that we're marked by a life of love for others including the church. so what then holds us back from loving the local church? this are 3 points that he mentioned:

1. we've believed the lie that we'll be happier the less we sacrifice or give of ourselves and our time. but the more we clutch our time, money, and comfort and selfishly refuse to give to our church the less we receive back.
2. we've let proud indepence keep us uninvolved. this can be pride that says,"i dont need other people in my life." or it may be pride that says,"i dont want other people to see me for who i really am." both forms cut us from the blessings and benefits of community in the local church.
3. we've adopted a critical eye toward the church. we've believed that by complaining or logging our church's faults, we are accomplishing something. but God calls us to repent of our critical spirit and pick up one of concern instead. genuine concern is what happens when we see a problem and we care. that kind of concern leads to positive changes for us and our church. 

and somehow, those few points struck me. how i used to think that its a burden to serve, and end up complaining continuously about the workload or how things are run. and its so true cos so many times (for me at least) we complain about how things are done, not really caring about the feelings of the committee that planned it and the people that are involved, and just put them down for it, when perhaps there are reasons and we can change it by starting from ourselves. cos nothing will happen if we just complain. why not be part of the solution than add to the problem? 

im falling to my knees
i need you Lord to breathe in me
my prayer is still the same
my heart is calling out Your name
sweet anointing fill this place
i am found in Your embrace